I've found that I'm barely ever myself around people I don't know.
That's why I'm so excited for summer, because I can wear my tank tops, experiment with my hair and makeup and just have fun. School is really stressful; you have to impress your teachers, fellow students, directors, fellow actors... Everyone, because your future, when you're in theatre and performing arts, depends on it. People outside the business usually don't understand that, which makes having friends hard. It also makes having friends hard when everyone in theatre is so two-faced and willing to do anything they can to get what they want. So, here's the question, do we need friends? Can we get on without friends? Sometimes, when things are going bad, I don't really want to try, but then I realize that there are other people out there. There's always gonna be people out there who are there for you and when they stop, there'll be more people. In my close world, I wonder if there really are; then I realize that there always will be. So, if life is getting you down, look ahead, there's always something better. I feel blessed that at sixteen I actually understand it, even if it is only a five second realization.
But this summer I am really excited, because I am going to get away. I'm going to Mexico and I'm going to lounge around, read, blog, design, relax... Then, I'm going to Europe, where I get to sing in dozens of cathedrals and parks for about seventeen days. I get to be with people I am determined to be closer to because they're truly awesome people. <3 Then, I'm hopefully going to Disneyland with my friend or my mom; that would be fabulous.
Lately I just want to turn off my phone and get away from everyone, but I have to keep it to talk to my mom. The only thing I ven use my phone for anymore is to talk to two people, to look up things and to go on facebook. I don't even like talking to people. But. We'll see how it goes.